by Douglas Brent Smith
While looking for something else,
l found this quote:
"Appreciate you without
judging. Join you without invading, Invite you without demanding. Leave
you without guilt."
-- Virginia Satir
It reminded me that part of a leader's role is in leading
relationships. That's not the same as directing or controlling them.
Leading relationships has more to do with taking personal
responsibility for what you bring to a relationship -- whether that's
at work, in the community, at home...anywhere.
Relationships can not be taken for granted. To truly lead, we must
remain attentive to the kinds of relationships we are co-creating.
Appreciate
you without judging
We don't always have the answer, but we usually think that we do.
Effective leaders listen with their whole being. We bring our soul to
the game. We wait to be touched before reaching out to correct. We
appreciate and allow for differences.
Courageous leaders correct dangerous situations, but hold back from
judging when the risk is only to our own egos.
Join you
without invading
To collaborate, to co-create, leaders must forge the kinds of
relationships where we share space, energy, time, and consideration. We
connect. But we allow that connecting to be mutually beneficial,
mutually wanted, and mutually nurtured. It's not about us. It's about
US.
Invite you
without demanding
Leaders must become masters of influence without becoming masters of
manipulation. Do you see the difference? Isn't the most effective
influence more of an invitation than a command? People will naturally
resist commands, creating a constant need for ever more stringent
commands until revolution topples the authority.
That's not best for leadership. High performance leaders create
invitations that are irresistible because those invitations include the
fingerprints of many people.
Leave you
without guilt
I'm not sure what Dr. Satir meant by this (and if you are I'm
interested in hearing from you) but it seems that it could be to create
a relationship so full, so strong, so compassionate, so creative, and
so clear that upon parting there is no remorse.
Leaders should do no harm, especially in their relationships. While it
may sadden me to part company from you, I hope to be able to do so
knowing that our work and living and sharing together has been full,
satisfying, and complete.
Relationships are not just the key to leadership success, they are the
key to our very happiness.
How will you care for your relationships today?
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